Authenticity helped me shift out of people-pleasing and create an experience where everyone could have a good time


Hi. I’m Janet. I want to tell you my story about learning to be authentic,
and what authenticity has done for me.

I was always a people-pleaser. When my friends wanted to go to an Italian
restaurant, we would go to an Italian restaurant. If they wanted to sit by
the corner, of course, we would sit by the corner, because if they’re
happy, I’m happy. Overtime, I would feel resentful that my voice wasn’t
getting heard.

Last New Year’s Eve, I had this pretty cool experience. My boyfriend spent
a lot of money on cool tickets to this awesome event. I didn’t really know
what it was, but I just assumed I’d have a great time. When I got there I
hated it. It was noisy, it wasn’t fun, I was freezing cold in this place,
and I wanted to go home. It’s like, “What do I do?”

Didn’t really check-in with what I wanted. I knew that, and I said, “Hey.
Could we talk for a minute?” and told him, “I really don’t like this. I
would like to go home.” We got over a bit of fear around, how’s this going
to be? I shared what I wanted. I said, “Not only do I want to go home, I
also want to work something else in which we’re both having fun.” We worked
out a plan, and it was not only fun for me but it was a breakthrough, even
in that situation. I can bring authenticity and everybody has a better