Clutter

A message from Big Leap Coach, Alexande DeBlieux:

Clutter

Story of Transformation

Originally published December 13, 2023 on Alexande’s blog, Big Ideas with Alexande.

A few weeks ago, I had to unexpectedly buy a new computer after the MacBook I’ve had since 2016 finally began to give out. But hey, seven years is pretty impressive for a computer these days.

When I began selecting my new computer, my primary focus was on RAM which stands for “random-access memory.” Unlike the now standard 500 Gigabytes (GB) or sometimes Terabytes (TB) of storage devices have, RAM is your computer’s short-term memory that is used to complete tasks. It defines the bandwidth of the device.

For example, prior to 2016, I used to have a baseline computer with only 6 or 8GB of RAM. This was fine for school and casual use, but once I got into design it became an issue. Running programs like Photoshop along with others require a computer to have “a lot on its mind” at once. This more basic model would periodically shut down on its own because it was all just too much. For context, my computer I recently traded in and recycled had 16GB of RAM. The one I just purchased has 24GB, giving me lots of bandwidth for what I do day to day.

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“Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?” … a question often asked with a touch of sass, and frequently received with with an eye roll.

As the appointed tech support person in my family, I cannot tell you how many times I have asked this question. From computers and phones to routers and TVs, it’s always the first question. Why? Because it clears out any unnecessary tasks that are happening in the background that you may or may not be aware of. Whether they are random programs or browser windows with 30 tabs open, even if you can’t see them on your screen, they are using up energy. Your device only has so much bandwidth before it will start to act out or shut down.

Are we still talking about computers? Yes and no. 

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When I encounter people who are at their “wits end” or getting to the point where they can’t form words around an emotional expression, my favorite question is “how many tabs do you have open right now?” This is often received with a “huh” and a tilted head. Then I give them the computer analogy and they begin to take inventory of all the “windows” they’ve got open.

I recently saw a TikTok that sums this up well…

“They say the brain is the computer, which makes sense because mine always has 10 tabs open, three of them are frozen, and I’m never really sure where the music is coming from.”

The tabs we aren’t using or the ones that are no longer serving us… those are what we call clutter.

Here are some examples of these “tabs” that can create cutter:

• Work projects
• Home projects
• Family events
• Relationships
• Boundaries
• Conflict
• Wedding planning (something I recently experienced)
• Holiday shopping
• New year resolutions
• Entrepreneurial endeavors
• … you get the idea.

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Each of us has our own, unique bandwidth (or daily energy capacity) which is made up of a variety of factors: genetics, hormones, rest, exercise, health, etc.

Knowing your bandwidth… that’s a superpower. Once you have a concept of what you are able to give energy to in a day, week, month or year, you can allocate that bandwidth accordingly.

Now, where we differ from a computer is that, as human beings, we receive energy and delight from experiences that bring us joy. The opposite can be said for those tasks that not only take energy, but also take away from our joy. If bandwidth is our capacity to do a thing, joy is the motivation to do it and be present in it, as well as the satisfaction of having experienced it.

Some good questions to ask about the things occupying your bandwidth:

• “Is this bringing me joy?”
• “How is this affecting my sense of aliveness?”

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A personal example of this is when I decided to close out my clothing company, MUCHLOVE. While it was something near and dear to my heart, it ultimately filled my bandwidth with work and tasks that did not bring me joy. Now, I’m cramming an emotional decision that took six months to make into just a few sentences, but wow, I am glad I made it. I am proud of myself for taking the leap into it (because I learned so much), AND I am equally proud of myself for taking the leap out.

Once the paperwork was done and the “tab” was closed, it felt like my mind was a house that had a huge room added to it. I felt a sense of spaciousness I hadn’t felt in a long time. The best advice I got during this process came from Poo-Pourri Founder and CEO, Suzy Batiz. She told me, “don’t put a thing in that room.” Entrepreneurial folks like us have an urge to furnish the open spaces or fill our open time immediately. She encouraged me to experience the spaciousness for a while. “Do a cartwheel in there!” When it comes time to fill in that space, it needs to be with something that brings me more joy than what was there before.

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Another personal example I want to share speaks more to an uncontrollable absence of bandwidth.

Over the past year, I’ve had some health issues. Being in and out of the hospital, on medications, and generally experiencing a lot of pain took a major toll on me. The work it took to simply get through the day and get well took everything I had. My energy was depleted and my bandwidth was a fraction of what it once was.

This is an extreme example, but my sense is that we all go through seasons like this… times where rest and recovery take precedent over “productivity.” As an active person, physically and mentally, this was a hard pill for me to swallow. With a lot of coaching, therapy, and support from my family, I learned to let go of the need to “do” and allowed myself to simply “be.” Once I stopped resisting and started closing those tabs, even ones I thought brought me joy before this, that’s when my healing began.

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If you’re ready to commit to creating space and closing some tabs, here are some questions to kick off your discovery…

• Where can you create spaciousness? In your week? In your day?
• What can your bandwidth and energy support?
• What brings you joy and enhances your aliveness?
• What isn’t serving you?
• What is no longer bringing you joy?
• What is taking away from your sense of aliveness?

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Looking to clear some clutter? Need help closing some tabs? Reach out to book a session with me. I would love to support you any way I can!

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Much of these learnings were ignited by AliveOS with Suzy Batiz and The Hendricks Institute.