Taking healthy response-ability creates clarity around others’ feelings and invites connection


Hi, my name is Jane Warren, and I wanted to share with you what
happened for me particularly in my relationship, my intimate relationship,
relative to as I am starting to take more and more responsibility for my
own thoughts and my own actions and understanding how I’m creating the
situations with my partner. So when we get into that kind of a na na na,
kind of situation with each other and I’m able to take just half a step
back and go, “Oh, what is this that I need to learn here. What is this that
I’m doing to create this?”

First of all, it takes all the energy away from my desire to do na na na
because it takes me into wondering about my part, but the other thing is it
acts as an invitation to the other person to start wondering about their
part as well. So I know when he is the one that takes the first half a step
back, what I experience is a kind of like a, “Oh yeah, I wonder what I’m
doing.” And it puts me right into curiosity and wonder and the whole na na
na becomes totally irrelevant and gone. So that’s how I use responsibility
to really enhance my relationship.